“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.” — William James
By Atiq Raja
In an age awash with noise—be it news alerts, endless scrolls of social media, or the clatter of daily obligations—one of the most profound pieces of advice comes not from a modern guru or digital detox coach, but from the 19th-century philosopher and psychologist William James. “The art of being wise,” he once wrote, “is the art of knowing what to overlook.” It’s a line that feels almost too quiet for the times we live in. Yet, in its simplicity, it speaks volumes. We often think of wisdom as something built on knowledge—knowing more facts, understanding more theories, keeping up with more information. But in a world where the next opinion, outrage, or distraction is only a click away, perhaps wisdom now demands something different. Not the capacity to absorb more, but the strength to choose less.
To look at something, understand that it exists, and gently set it aside. Not because it’s invisible, but because it’s not worth our inner peace. To overlook is not to ignore blindly. It is to acknowledge without engaging. It is a conscious act of grace, a kind of mental editing that saves space for what matters most. A wise leader, for example, may notice a team member’s small misstep and still choose to celebrate their growth instead of pointing fingers. A seasoned partner might resist the impulse to argue over a careless remark and instead preserve the warmth of the moment. A friend may hear gossip but decide not to pass it on, not out of fear, but out of maturity. This idea of mental restraint, of prioritizing peace over provocation, is not often celebrated in the noisy arenas of modern life.
We are encouraged to react, to respond, to always have an opinion. Social media thrives on this energy—this constant need to engage with every piece of drama, every thread of anger, every flash of outrage. The result? Exhausted minds, brittle emotions, and a culture that finds it harder to forgive or forget. Our minds, much like our bodies, have limits. There is only so much emotional energy we can spend before it starts to deplete us. When we give equal attention to what hurts and what heals, to what uplifts and what undermines, we dilute our strength. In truth, the mind was never built to hold onto everything. The art lies in filtering. In asking ourselves: what truly deserves my attention? What builds me, and what breaks me?
Knowing what to overlook is not just about peace—it is about grace. Toward others, but perhaps more importantly, toward ourselves. We all carry imperfections, old mistakes, unmet expectations. If we choose to revisit them constantly, to re-analyze every flaw, we risk turning reflection into self-punishment. Wisdom lies in letting go of that which cannot be changed. In offering ourselves the same kindness we so often withhold. That soft, forgiving space within us is not weakness—it is where healing begins. There is strength in choosing what not to say. In holding back the retort, the criticism, the sarcastic reply that may feel satisfying in the moment but chips away at trust over time. Silence, when chosen with intent, is not suppression—it is clarity. It says: I know I could engage, but I also know it’s not worth the cost. I value the relationship more than the argument. I value my peace more than my pride.
And while this may sound like some lofty ideal, it is a skill—one that can be learned, practiced, and refined over time. Start small. Pause before reacting. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in five years?” Often the answer is no. The remark made in haste, the awkward encounter, the unwashed dish—these moments rarely define our lives, yet they so often define our moods. Perspective, then, is the quiet tool we must carry in our pockets. Not to escape the world, but to better live in it. Mindfulness helps. It isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a discipline of returning your attention to what actually matters. When you reflect regularly, you start to recognize patterns—what drains you, what uplifts you. And once you see clearly, you start choosing wisely. You begin to save your strength for battles that are truly aligned with your values, your goals, and your sense of self.
(The writer is a rights activist and CEO of AR Trainings and Consultancy, with degrees in Political Science and English Literature, can be reached at news@metro-morning.com)
